April 6, 2018 The Potter and the Clay

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Help me to become -
What You want me to become.
Molded by Thy Hand.
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When I was a teenager going to El Segundo High School (1964-1968), there was a time I became very angry with God.
I railed against the Divine. I yelled (inside) to You/my God directly. I felt You/God were very unfair. I questioned if You/God really loved me or just wanted to torture me and make me suffer. Why did You/God give to one and withhold from the other?
The seeming unfairness of all of it! Now, this was not a large expansive heart for the world in which I cared for all. This suffering was very personal – it was about what I felt You had denied me. I felt You had deserted me - very personally deserted me.
The high school at that time was on two sides of the school football field. A student could have classes on the west campus and on the east campus. So, between classes we would have to walk by the side of the football field, along the running track pathway between campuses to reach our next class.
One day between classes, I was walking from west campus to east campus. I was walking alone. ( There were other students taking the path across the track, however I was not walking with anyone.) As I walked, I looked up at the high rising side of the boy’s gym. Inside myself, I was continuing my longstanding rail against the Divine. I was so hurt by what I saw as my mistreatment by God. Though my physical eyes were looking at the side of the gym, my heart eyes were looking for God. Then, inside I yelled (to you my God) THERE IS NO GOD- GOD WOULD NEVER DO THESE THINGS – GOD WOULD NEVER BE SO CRUEL.
So, began a battle - and for a period of time - every time I thought of God – every time I wanted to talk with God – I stopped myself. I told myself THERE IS NO GOD.
Here is the thing: the entire time I was doing this, it was God I was yelling at and I knew it was God I was yelling at. There came a point when I was forced to admit to myself that my communication with the Divine had not ceased it had merely changed to my yelling (inside) to the Divine – being as cruel as I could imagine by telling the Divine – YOU DO NOT EXIST – YOU ARE NOT REAL.
I was like a child who is angry with the discipline of the mother. The little one sometimes tells the mother, ‘You are not my mother – my mother would never do this.” The entire time the little one very clearly knows she is the mother - and let one scary thing happen and the little one will quickly run to the protective arms of the mama – knowing she will be there to protect and keep safe.
The discipline of the One who loves without condition is not always easy.
There came a point when I needed to make amends. I went again to the spot where I had denied the Creator. Now the pathway was quiet and there was no one else nearby. I went and stood looking up at the side of the boy’s gym, where I had pronounced my denial. Now I was asking forgiveness – and accepting the discipline. To be molded by The Hand of Love is not always easy. In point of fact, often it is very difficult. It is a misnomer to consider the path home as rose strewn and peaceful. However, sometimes along the way, there will be rose petals and peace as guide posts.
So – we continue - opening ourselves to the reforming by the potter’s hand. Finally, we through humility are given the stamina to go the distance.
The destination is assured and contains the end of all sorrows. 

 
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“He knows what He is doing with me. I cannot always understand His way,

but I am content in the realization that He knows what is best. That is surrender.”
Daya Mata
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“Spirituality lies not in the power to heal others, to perform miracles,

or to astound the world with our wisdom, but in the ability to endure with right attitude

whatever crosses we have to face in our daily lives, and thus to rise above them.”
Daya Mata 
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“Perfect joy lies in selflessly striving for the best outcome,

and then humbly accepting whatever God gives.”
Daya Mata
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“There is absolutely nothing we can ever do that will cause God to forsake us.

He will never turn away from us. “
Daya Mata
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Jeremiah 18:6

“……Behold, as the clay is in the potter's hand, so are ye in mine hand,

O house of Israel.”
KJV Bible

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